How to get people to respect me
“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
– Confucius, 551 BC-479 BC
“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”
Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
Much as these two quotes suggest, in gaining respect from others, it is important that you respect yourself first, that you value yourself, know who you are, through the concept of loving yourself.
It is essential that insecurities, inadequacies, self doubt are all banished and replaced with a sense of self worth and indeed a deep sense of self respect with a healthy dose of self-love.
When we are lacking in that sense of self love, by default we tend to de-value ourselves. We so easily lose the full sense of who we are. When we are lost in this way, we aren’t sure of our values or moral code, not sure of what we like or dislike, not sure of what action to take in given situations, always feeling we need to check in with others to be sure we are acting or thinking in a way that is acceptable to others. It becomes important to be aggreeable with the majority or if we are more extrovert by nature we take to rebelling against authority, a cry to be noticed by those that count. As an introvert, we don’t want to put a foot out of place, we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. To stand out for the wrong reasons would be so humiliating and humiliation is a familiar emotion that revisits our psyche much too often for comfort.
In turn, as a form of self preservation we may turn to adopting aggressive behaviour toward others. This behaviour has us believing others are wrong, needing admonishment as we insist on ‘being right’ and ‘being in control’. We may also have lost faith and trust in others, so any kindness shown is viewed with suspicion. We may be suspect others are trying to take advantage of us with some hidden agenda. We may also misunderstand their good intentions, convincing ourselves that they are scheming against us and risk arousing our angry response towards them.
All these negative emotions can arise from being exposed to an environment that was very much lacking in love. This love was so much needed in those vital early years of our lives where we are creating our own identity, understanding life’s rules and how we fit in as an individual. In fact this quest may continue into adulthood. If we are deprived of love, whilst also being surrounded by aggressive behaviour, not only do we copy what we see as our norm, but we behave towards ourselves in a way that further reinforces that we are unlovable, deserve self denegration with a resulting poor self image.
We come to believe we are undeserving of a good life and perpetuate the misery we have repeatedly been exposed to, as our norm. If we are lucky, we will benefit from positive role models around us to inspire us, but in our state inadequacy we can so easily adopt a compensationary ‘perfectionist’ approach to all we do. bringing about it’s own degree of stress. We then can so easily risk sabotaging our own chances toward any progress. At this time we may become destructive of other’s success where jeolousy and bitterness can prevail. A strong sense of injustice can so easily cloud our view of others as we wonder how they can be so fortunate when we are not, no matter how hard we try.
Despite these sometimes unsuccessful wretched attempts to move forward, we need do take solace that there is a solution and a way forward toward changing our lives for the better. We need to change this disharmony within us which has become so out of kilter with our true selves it creates so much unhappiness.
If we are to understand that every cell in our body has it’s own vibration or harmonic frequency to function at it’s optimum. When this frequency is disturbed by pollution from prolonged exposure to negative energy arising from negative thoughts and events, it creates disharmony and eventually disease as the cells begins to break down.
Conversely when we are receiving loving thoughts and actions from others as well as giving ourselves these loving thoughts, we are radiating ourselves with positive energy, feeding our cells with positivity to function at their optimum level whilst improving our whole sense of well-being, In this positive state we are more likely to enjoy better sleep quality, health and energy to keep ourselves motivated toward self improvement and ambition for a better life. So our brain cells, nervous system, organs within our hormonal system, and in fact every other cell in our body maintains full bodily health. In this way, depression, low moods, mental illness and physical illness rarely arise.
Physical, mental, emotional, intellectual and spiritual health are the reaped benefits from surrounding ourselves with positive and loving energy. We begin to attract similar minded people around us. Quite naturally a sense of positivity, motivation, self belief, confidence and respect for ourselves and others readily comes into play.
To correct these vibrations from a range that are negative and stressful to the body to ones that are compellingly positive and healing to the body we need to take the right action. There are in fact many ways such as meditation, yoga, cognitive behavioural therapy to mention but a few well respected ways of reconnecting with our true loving selves, but the one that I feel is so easy and accessible in re-calibrating ourselves toward greater self worth and greater self respect is the use of Bach Flower Therapy.
Bach Flower Therapy is the process of taking any one of the 38 natural plant remedies to balance any of the 38 emotions that are out of balance. As we are discussing the unexpressed emotion of self value, respect,love, the specific Bach Flower remedy ‘Holly’ is the remedy that will help us regain our true sense of self worth that was with us at birth.
This Bach Flower remedy is a natural organic vibrational form of medicine with no known side effects, which, with it’s vibrational energy, the bach remedy ‘Holly‘ counters the existing unbalanced emotion of lovelessness into one of loving. Slowly, over a three week period of taking these drops orally via a pipette or in any drink, four times a day, you will notice a gentle yet powerful change within you. You will become more accepting of yourself, you will slowly come to start respecting yourself as you start to connect with your own loving self. You begin to know your own mind, your own worth. You will begin to recognise that being caring and respectful of others begins to come more easily to you, and in turn slowly become more of a peace maker and so are likely to facilitate aggreable outcomes. Your increased confidence with an increased sense of conviction encourages you to take and make appropriate actions to support your new ways of thinking and believing. You begin to appreciate others more positively and become more trusting in all your relationships. You begin to believe in yourself. Life starts to work for you. People begin to respect you as indeed you are respecting them.
In the process of taking Bach Flower remedies, you are encouraged to make positive affirmations such as ‘I love myself’ or ‘I value myself’at least 5 times a day and combine this with the visualization of seeing yourself surrounded by loving people and feeling totally cherished. The more vivid the visualization the more real and compelling it will feel for greater impact so use your imagination well.
Taking 2 drops 4 times a day, first thing in the morning, last thing at night and twice in between will restore the correct balance and show improvement over a three week period. Do take note that if you have felt unloved for some time you are likely to need to repeat the 3 week cycle a few times.
There are times when we have felt good about ourselves but have been through a difficult relationship that has us questioning our own self worth and how lovable we may be. This is the time to quickly restore that sense of loving/valuing ourself again so we can regain our sense of being the best we can be for ourselves and others. More importantly we will gain our self respect as indeed the respect from others.
For further support please contact me,
Liz on 07859 920107 or email me on email@example.com