How to get people to respect me
“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
– Confucius, 551 BC-479 BC
“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”
Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
Much as these two quotes suggest, to gain respect from others, it is essential that you respect yourself first, that you value yourself, know who you are, through the concept of loving yourself.It is essential that insecurities, inadequacies, self doubt are all banished and replaced with a sense of self worth and indeed a deep sense of self respect with a healthy level of self-love.
When we are lacking in that sense of self love, by default we tend to de-value ourselves. We so easily lose the full sense of who we are. When we are lost in this way, we aren’t sure of our own values or moral code, not sure of what we like or dislike, not sure of what action to take in given situations, always feeling we need to check in with others to be sure we are acting or thinking in a way that is acceptable to others. It becomes important to be agreeable with the majority or if we are more extrovert by nature we take to rebelling against authority, a cry to be noticed by those that count. As an introvert, we withdraw int ourselves. To stand out for the wrong reasons, would be so humiliating and humiliation is a familiar emotion that revisits our psyche far too often for comfort.
In turn, as a form of self-preservation we may take to adopting aggressive behaviour toward others. This behaviour has us believing others are wrong, needing admonishment as we insist on ‘being right’ in our attempt of ‘being in control’. We may also have lost faith and trust in others, so any kindness shown is viewed with suspicion. We may even suspect others are trying to take advantage of us with some hidden agenda. We may also misunderstand their good intentions, convincing ourselves that they are scheming against us and risk arousing angy responses towards them.
All these negative emotions can arise from being exposed to an environment that was very much lacking in love. This love was so much needed in those vital early years of our lives where we are creating our own identity, understanding life’s rules and how we fit in our society as an individual. In fact this quest often continues into adulthood. If we are continually deprived of love, in an environment of aggression displayed by those around us, not only do we tend to copy what we see by default, but we also view ourselves in a lowly way further reinforcing that we are unlovable, surrender to self-denegration with a resulting poor self-image.
We can so easily come to believe we are undeserving of a good life and perpetuate the misery we have repeatedly been exposed to, as our norm. If we are fortunate, we will have exposure to positive role models around us to inspire us, but in our state of inadequacy, we can so easily adopt a compensationary ‘perfectionist’ approach in all we do which can bring ongoing conflict within ourselves and prolonged undue stress. Sabotaging our own new plans or projects before completion stunts our progress. This apparent self destruct button can manifest as jeolousy and bitterness towards others’ success. A strong sense of injustice can so easily cloud our view of others who seem to glide smoothly towards achievement whilst we struggle through a series of challenges.
Despite these wretched attempts to move forward, we need do take solace that there is a solution and a way forward toward changing our lives for the better. We need to change this disharmony within us which has become so out of kilter with our true selves it creates devastating unhappiness.
A solution to all these challenges does exist, we can move forward toward a new eutopia of success, security, emotional stability and compelling achievement. We learn to embrace rather than fear it and relate positively to others where our talents are recognised and nurtured further with supportive caring people. So how do we achieve this? How can we leap from the depths of despair to the heights of happiness, success and joy. We do this, by first understanding the mechanics of our own building blocks that make us human and how each individual human cell responds to energy fields and then use this knowledge to move ourselves forward to joy and success.
If we are to understand that every cell in our body has it’s own vibration or harmonic frequency enabling it to function at it’s optimum. Then we will acknowledge how this frequency can be so easily disturbed by pollutants. A primary everyday pollutant is the prolonged exposure to negative energy arising from negative thoughts, behaviour and events. Recurring and prolonged exposure to such a negative energy field will create great disturbance to the cell’s vibration and harmonic frequency so the electrons, protons and neutrons and other minor particles behave erratically and deletariously, resulting in cell disharmony, eventual cell breakdown, cell malfunction and over time inevitable physical and mental illness.
Conversely when we are surrounded by the energy of loving thoughts and nurturing behaviour, we are radiating ourselves with large doses of positive energy, enhancing the integrity of each cell to function at it’s best and optimum good health. Multiplying all these cells into the complex human beings that we are, radiation of positive energy establishes balance and perfect harmonic frequency forming a state of wholesome well-being and health, In this positive state we are more likely to enjoy better sleep quality, hormonal balance, and improved health of all body systems so that physical, emotional and mental health are achieved to have us realize our full potential and in the main, make us joyously happy.
In recognising that immersing ourselves in a positive energy field to counter vibrations that are a negative and stressful onslaught to the body, it is absolutely essential we know how best to achieve this. A mode that is so easy and accessible in re-calibrating ourselves toward greater self worth and greater self respect is the use of Bach Flower Therapy.
Bach Flower Therapy is the process of selecting any one of the 38 natural plant remedies to balance any of the 38 emotions that are out of balance . This is a form of energetic medicine. In tackling emotions bereft of self-worth, self-respect, they need to comes from a stance ofhealthy self-love or acceptance. These emotional states are composed of layers of different emotions that need to be in place and so a number of Bach Flower remedies will be needed to achieve this great sense of self worth and respect that was with us at birth.
Let us just look for a moment at the emotions we need to balance. To feel deserving , we take Pine, to feel certain with our own decision making, we take cerato, to feel emotionally stable from mood swings we take Scleranthus. To feel motivated we take Hornbeam, to bounce back from setbacks we take Gentian and if our mood has become a little too low for comfort we take Gorse especially if we give up on options that can help us. To rid ourselves of spite and jealousy we take Holly. To recover from shocking news we take Star of Bethlehem, To regain a sense of control where we fear we have uncontrollable urges,we may take Cherry Plum. Feeling mentally and physically exhausted would indicate taking Olive.
We have named just a few emotions that get in the way of us feeling positive about ourselves and Bach flower remedies enable the individual cells that have become diseased to restore the natural harmonic of each cell to full integrity and so become healed.
Bach Flower remedies are a natural organic vibrational form of energetic medicine harvested from the ‘soul’ energy of specifice plants with no known side effects, which, with it’s vibrational energy, the bach remedy counters the existing unbalanced emotions that were affected by negative energy fields. Slowly, over a three week period of taking the appropriate remedy drops orally via a pipette or in any drink, four times a day, you will notice a gentle yet powerful change within you. On matching mood to remedy, you will become more accepting of yourself, you will slowly come to start respecting yourself as you start to connect with your own loving self. You begin to know your own mind, your own worth. You will begin to recognise that being caring and respectful of others begins to flow naturally to you, and in turn you take to peace making and more likely to facilitate agreeable outcomes. Your increased confidence with an increased sense of conviction encourages you to take and make appropriate actions to support your new ways of thinking and believing. You begin to appreciate others more positively and become more trusting in all your relationships. You begin to believe in yourself. Life starts to work for you. People begin to respect you as indeed you are respectful of them in return.
In the process of taking Bach Flower remedies, you are encouraged to make positive affirmations such as ‘I love myself’ or ‘I value myself’ ( Crab Apple & Pine) ‘I enjoy my newfound confidence, I am capable’ (Larch) ‘I embrace change’ (Walnut) at least 5 times a day and combine this with the visualization of seeing yourself surrounded by loving people and feeling totally cherished. The more vivid the visualization the more real and compelling it will feel for greater impact so use your imagination well. The important thing to realize is that whatever negative statement we make about ourselves, we need to turn it into the opposite, a positive statement to ensure we radiate a positive energy field around us. Affirmations and Bach flower remedies are the perfect partnership whereby they enhance each other perfectly.
Taking 4 drops 4 times a day, for your selection of remedies, first thing in the morning, last thing at night and twice in between will help restore the correct balance and show improvement over a three week period. Do take note that if you have felt unbalanced for some time you are likely to need to repeat the 3 week cycle a few times.
Let us remind ourselves of Mandy Hale’s saying “You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” This punctuates the relevance of working on our own emotions so we feel solid within ourselves. Not only do we gain confidence and conviction in our own honesty of who we are but we radiate out those individual qualities otherwise known as Charisma. It is then that we attract and gain respect from others.
For further support please contact me,
Liz on 07859 920107 or email me on firstname.lastname@example.org