Our Critical Selves

It is an interesting process, that we are more likely to see our very own faults in others.

Deflecting attention from our own weaknesses and focusing on others tends to give us a sense of holiness, a degree of superiority and protection from being accused of such traits. We might openly declare to friends that these familiar characteristics are unacceptable in certain people. We may also admit having a smattering of these traits, such as being selfish occasionally or lazy but of course, never to the extent as observed in others. By making such confessions, making light of our faults and weaknesses, with an air of authority we find ourselves justifying these criticisms in others..

Whenever we find ourselves criticizing others, we need to be aware of four things.

Firstly, other people act as a mirror for our own thoughts about ourselves. Very often we don’t want to accept our own failings. Rather than deal with or correct them, we instead tend to invest our time pointing them out in others. In a skewed kind of way we are addressing these faults and weaknesses but only in a way to save us the discomfort of making the necessary changes to ourselves. We all know how challenging it is to develop new habits!

Secondly we tend to act aggressively toward those who have the same character traits we dislike in ourselves. There is some form of transference here. We don’t wish to be reminded of those traits. Attacking the person seems to temporarily resolve the situation, warding them off, ridding us of the person with these ‘detestable’ characteristics and so the ‘painful reminder is removed’. This is never a permanent solution, as sure enough, our own internal radar will find new subjects to pick on or indeed they will attack us making things so much worse. The story will just repeat itself leaving us very aggravated !

Thirdly, the more critical we are of others, the more likely we are, in fact, to be very critical of ourselves. It is very likely, that in our earlier years we heard lots of negative messages about ourselves that far out-balanced good positive messages. These messages would have come from people around us, family members, teachers, authority figures etc who would have had a strong influence on us at the time. So, we would have bought into these ideas of ourselves as true, leaving us with a poor self image of ourselves.

Finally, the more negative self talk we use, whether it is towards ourselves or others the more negative energy we direct to ourselves weakening our own body cells.

Science has now proven that a transmitting thought can be seen in the brain with sophisticated scanning. A thought is a thing. All things have a frequency or vibration which can be transmitted to ourselves and innocent people around us, hence why we can pick up negative atmospheres. Kinesiology is an Eastern therapy using acupuncture/meridian points to measure and maintain good energy flow in the body which is supported with positive thinking. Muscle testing is used in kinesiology to ascertain appropriate energy flow. It shows that when we hold a negative thought in our minds our muscles weaken, but when a positive event or thought comes to mind our muscles strengthen when tested.

If you identify with the above, then start today to begin appreciating yourself, by getting friends to identify and list your qualities to you, turn negative comments into positive ones. These processes can be enhanced by taking Bach flower remedy ‘Holly’ which will help you feel more loving and accepting of yourself and others enabling you to think more positively overall. The remedy Larch can help you if you are lacking in confidence so you gain faith in yourself to start achieving, whilst Pine enables you to release self reproach and feel more deserving of the good things in life.