It would seem the easiest thing to do: forgiving someone when they hurt us, Yet it poses an immense challenge for most people. Old hurts slowly fester deep down in our psyche causing continuing resentment as well as sudden outbursts of distress, surreptitiously impacting on our health.
So, how do we deal with this situation? Well the first step is to forgive the offending person. This does not mean we condone what they have done. We just acknowledge the hurt and let go of it therefore releasing the lumps of anger within us. The offender doesn’t even know how intensely distressed we are with all this hurt and pain.
Over time this form of stress creates an altered bio chemistry in our bodies resulting in the breakdown of our cells causing ill-health and compromising our immune system.
By allowing ourselves to feel this continual anger towards someone only results in us being hurt more on a regular basis. In a sense we have allowed this person to gain power over us. Not only do we feel grossly dishonoured but we are also giving away our own personal power and allowing them to have a hold on us. So lets stop this anguish today!
We need to externalize the anger. This can be done in a number of ways. You can either rip up a whole load of newspapers whilst directing your words of anger at the offender until you have exhausted your anger. Or, you shape some plasticine representing your offender, jabbing it whilst releasing your anger. Alternatively, imagine yourself meeting with the person, telling them your exact feelings. You imagine their response back and continuing this repartee, until you feel it has been resolved. Sometimes using a mirror helps to do this. Another way is to punch a pillow whilst shouting out profanities. My favourite, is the writing down of all your thoughts in a letter addressing it to the person. Then you screw up the letter, throw it on the floor, jumping up and down on it, whilst also shouting out whatever you wish. Next, get an empty tin, place it safely outdoors and rip the letter into small bits into the tin and set the paper alight, knowing it is now the end of the matter as the letter burns safely in the tin leaving just ash. However, there is sometimes a residue of anger remaining so we may need to repeat it another day until all the anger is gone. The important thing is to find a way of releasing your anger whichever activity you decide to choose to do.
Now recognise that everyone on this planet is doing the best they can, for if they knew how to do it any better, they certainly would. The fact that they could hurt you in the way they did may means that they themselves are in a position of distress, or they have indeed lost their own personal power to someone else causing them to behave irrationally or foolishly. For long term resentment the Bach flower remedy Willow is taken. Letting go of the past is enhanced with the remedy Honeysuckle whilst the remedy Walnut helps you through the transition towards gaining greater peace of mind. Now enjoy better health!